


we're dying on the inside but it be like that

by orphan_account



Category: Ant-Man (Movies), Black Panther (2018), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Avengers being idiots, Domestic Avengers, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone being Assholes, F/M, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Peter is a Little Shit, Texting, avengers texting, but everyone loves him, things go down
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:26:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22169350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sam Wilson: Oh noShuri: Oh yes
Relationships: Everyone & Everyone, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 54





	1. Welcome to hell im your guide ryan

**Author's Note:**

> Hey yall i decided to do this cuz i cant find enough of these. This might not be great but bear with me. I either go with the flow or use actual events that happened. Also i will add character tags when the character comes up.trust me everyone will be there some point.

**_Tony Stark added Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff, Bruce Banner, Thor, Steve Rogers, James Rhodes, Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes and Wanda Maximoff to_** **_im gonna die in ww3 and thats all right_**

**Tony Stark** : I assume you all know what this is.

**Natasha Romanoff:** Are you serious? I was having a good time getting some information out of some Hydra scum.

**Clint Barton** : Are u serious i was enjoying my retirement

**Sam Wilson:** are u serious i was enjoying my cereal

**Wanda Maximoff** : Are you serious I was enjoying my time with vision.

**Bucky Barnes:** are u serious i was enjoying contemplating lifes worth (guess what there is none)

**Wanda Maximoff** : god what a mood

**Bruce Banner** : Are you serious! I was enjoying my time on a spaceship AWAY from this shit show.

**James Rhodes** : Are you serious? I was enjoying a break from all of these group chats you added me to in college.

**Steve Rogers** : Tony, are you serious. This is a really bad idea. I hope you're drunk

**Clint Barton** : im doing this on steves behalf- are u serious i was enjoying fucking bucky

**Clint Barton** : o yikes too late

**Tony Stark** : Wow. I do one good thing here and this is how y'all repay me.

**Steve Rogers** : IM NOT DOING BUCKY

**Wanda Maximoff** : im so dissapointed u missed a good opportunity Tony also sure steve

**Natasha Romanoff** : sure steve

**Bruce Banner** : sure steve

**Clint Barton** : sure steve

**Tony Stark:** sure steve

**Sam Wilson:** sure steve

**James Rhodes:** sure steve

**Bucky Barnes:** sure steve

**Steve Rogers:** BUCKY!!! 

**Thor:** wh at isb his

**Thor:** hiw does oene work thos smailll little boxw

**Thor** : Oh! Thank you Banner.

**Tony Stark:** wait how did u do that

**Bruce Banner:** voice to text

**Tony Stark** : o

**Steve Rogers** : If this an Avengers group chat then why aren't all the avengers here?

**Tony Stark** : Maybe its because some of them are assholes who I need to stay the fuck away from.

**Wanda Maximoff:** ADD THEM

**Tony Stark:**... Are you sure.

**Wanda Maximoff:** YES

**Tony Stark** : ...fine. You all will regret this. Im always right.

**_Tony Stark added Spider-Man, Scott Lang, T'challa and Shuri_ **

**Spider-Man** : Hey everyone

**Sam Wilson:** Oh no

**Shuri** : Oh yes


	2. Roach-Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roaches Furries and a certain man with a 1$ spray tan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place after endgame so ffh will happen in this
> 
> Feel free to leave requests!!

**Scott Lang:** OMg is this the AsSvEngErs

**Scott Lang** : … oMg imAn AsSvEnGer

**Scott Lang** : EEEEEEEEEEE

**Shuri** : Uh Spoderman did ur friend do the thing

**Spider-Man** : shuri shushhhhhh its supposed to be unna supriso

**Tony Stark:** i should have never listened to the voices in my head.

**Shuri:** yikes

**_anonymous made Spider-Man admin and removed admin from Tony Stark_ **

**Tony Stark:** how what when where why

**Thor:** This is the fall of an empire. It may be short lived but we should respect it all the same.

**_Spider-Man changed Shuri's name to awinnybitch_ **

**_Spider-Man changed Scott Lang's name Tic-Tac_ **

**_Spider-Man changed Bucky Barnes' name to Jesus_ **

**_Spider-Man changed Wanda Maximoff's name to witch lady_ **

**_Spider-Man changed Clint Barton's name to CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS_ **

**_Spider-Man changed Steve Rogers name to Captain Captain_ **

**_Spider-Man changed Sam Wilson's name to Birde_ **

**_Spider-Man changed T'challa's name to furry_ **

**_Spider-Man changed Tony Stark's name to awinnybitch2.0_ **

**_Spider-Man changed James Rhodes name to MotherDearest_ **

**_Spider-Man changed Natasha Romanoff's name to ah sataN_ **

**_Spider-Man changed Bruce Banner's name to una bro de ciencia_ **

**_Spider-Man changed Thor's name to Man-Crush Monday_ **

**_Spider-Man changed his name to itswednesdaymydudes_ **

**itswednesdaymydudes:** hey Ned skiddadle

**anonymous** : are u serious? I was enjoying my self

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : sry kid we did that before

**anonymous** : o

**anonymous** : well im not leaving

**anonymous** : u cant out hack me either

**awinnybitch2.0:** Friday can

**anonymous** : well shit

**anonymous** : id like to thank my mom and dad for-

**_Friday kicked out anonymous_ **

**ah sataN** : wtf is up with these nicknames????

**awhinybitch2.0** : 2.0!?!??!!? I AM NEVER 2.0.

**itswendsdaymydudes** : well im sorry if my work is good enough for u and mr stark theres a first time for everything

**Tic-Tac:** how did you know this nickname???

**itswendsdaymydudes** : i didnt mr wilson was harassing me and being a whiny bitch

**awhinybitch** : exposed

**birdie** : I hate u

**awhinybitch2.0** : HOW DARE YOU

**awhinybitch2.0** : HOW COULD YOU HATE ON THIS PUPPY

**Jesus** : Sam has no heart. He's a roach on 2 legs.

**awhinybitch** : whos the falcon? i only no roach man

**itswendsdaymydudes** : im sry mr roach-man sir there's no more room in the bug club

**_itswendsdaymydudes changed birdie's name to Roach-Man_ **

**birdie** : this is the day i end it all

**witch** **lady** : mood

**Roach-Man** : why was my name that anyway????

**itswendsdaymydudes** : ur like a furry like t'challa but with birds

**Roach-Man** : i hate everything

**awhinybitch** :CEUDBDJFNKCOCKCKD 

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : Did you really just type cock in a keysmash???

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : man u must be really horny

**awhinybitch** : dont u dare i am the princess of wakanda u dumass

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : oop sry ur highness

**_itswendsdaymydudes changed CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS name to CAWCAWMFS_ **

**CAWCAWMFS** : Thx i was getting annoyed by it

**furry** : I AM NOT A FURRY

**awhinybitch:** thats not what ur name says

**Man-Crush Monday** : Why is my name this? Also I will not question Midguardian culture so do not explain whatever a furry is.

**itswendsdaymydudes** : its cuz ur like really really hot man. 

**Man-Crush** **Monday** : Oh. Well thank you.

**Captain** **Captain** : I am wondering what my name means as well.

**itswendsdaymydudes** : i thought u would be dissapointed with america with trump as president and us starting ww3

**Captain** **Captain** : WORLD WAR WHAT

**awhinybitch2.0** : o right we didn't tell him

**ah sataN:** you know you fucked up if steve doesnt use full sentences

**awhinybitch2.0** : donald tr***p basically started a war with iran so he'll win next election

**Captain** **Captain** : that bitch

**Man-Crush** **Monday** : Language!

**awhinybitch2.0** : language

**ah sataN:** language

**CAWCAWMFS** : language man

**una** **bro** **de** **ciencia** : language

**MotherDearest** : Language.

**Roach-Man** : language 

**witch** **lady** : language

**itswendsdaymydudes** : language?

**Captain** **Captain** : Maybe instead of becoming Captain Captain I'll retire.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure you keave a like, hit that little bell, and subscribe
> 
> UwUQueen out


	3. captain america screams a bit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I dont even know anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im going to clear up the timeline a bit.  
> So basically they didn't lose infinity war but it happened in 2019

**_awhinybitch2.0 added Stephen Strange to the group chat._ **

**_awhinybitch2.0 changed Stephen Strange's name to Mr.MagicMan_ **

**Mr.MagicMan** : Im leaving.

**awhinybitch2.0** : No.

**Mr.MagicMan** : Darn it.

**Mr.MagicMan** : Whoever created this name is an idiot.

**awhinybitch2.0** : Hey! Im a genius.

**itswendsdaymydudes** : see mr. stark its not easy

**awinybitch2.0** : suck it Spider-Man

**itswendsdaymydudes** : im not into u like that mr stark

**awhinybitch2.0** : Because im like a father figure?

**itswendsdaymydudes** : no

**witch lady** : yikes

**awhinybitch2.0** : im going to go cry now

**itswendsdaymydudes** : Nooooo mr stark i love u

**awhinybitch2.0** : it always works

**itswendsdaymydudes** : mr. stark i cant belive u would use me like that. I really looked up to you.

**awhinybitch2.0** : nooo spiderman come back

**awhinybitch** : im on the phone with Spider-Man

**awhinybitch** : hes crying

**furry** : No he isn't.

**awhinybitch** : dang it

**itswendsdaymydudes** : my puppy powers are my super power

**itswendsdaymydudes** : who cares about being able to lift 25 pounds

**awhinybitch** : we all can lift 25 pounds

**awhinybitch** : well maybe stark can't

**Jesus** : Stark is a noodle on 2 legs.

**awhinybitch** : Iron Man? I only know Noodle Man

**_itswendsdaymydudes changed awhinybitch2.0's name to Noodle Man._ **

**Roach-Man** : i feel replaced

**Jesus** : thank goodness

**Roach-Man** : fuck u

**witch** **lady** : whenever i read sams text he sounds so done

**Roach-Man** : i am

**ah** **sataN** : hey yall

**itswendsdaymydudes** : AHSNJDN ITS A LURKER

**una** **bro** **de** **ciencia** : we had this chat for 3 days

**MotherDearest** : And we are already done with your shit.

**itswendsdaymydudes:** this isnt the worst thing ever

**dedpool** : yeah it could be way worse but the author is an idiot

**Noodle Man:** Wtf??? I didn't add you??

**Man-Crush** **Monday** : I am truly sorry for not being able to engage in conversation with you all in this small box. I am currently on a mission with the Guardians.

**awhinybitch** : oooo add them

**itswendsdaymydudes** : ^

**witch** **lady** : ^

**itswendsdaymydudes** : wait

**_itswendsdaymydudes changed witch lady's name to which lady_ **

**which** **lady** : ???

**itswendsdaymydudes** : inspiration struck

**which** **lady** : add them Thor

**Man-Crush** **Monday** : I will ask them

**CAWCAWMFS** : Only add them if they dont want to be here.

  
  


**IM THE CAPTIAN**

**Members: Gamora**

**Theactualcaptian**

**Trash-Panda**

**weed**

**Praying Mantis**

**TheDestroyer;)**

**Thereallifecyborg**

**Man-Crush Monday**

  
  


**Man-Crush Monday:** Hello everyone!

**TheDestroyer;)** : Look its the pirate angle

**Gamora** : Hey Thor, what's up??

**Man-Crush** **Monday** : I was wondering if you would like to join me in another group chat.

**TheDestroyer;)** : I will follow the angle anywhere

**Theactualcaptain** : stop thirsting drax

**TheDestroyer;)** : i am not thirsty. I am a bit hungry, but i am not thirsty.

**Theactualcaptain** : whatever

**Theactualcaptain** : wait is the the group chat with peter????

**Man-Crush** **Monday** : I do not know who Peter is im afraid

**Theactualcaptain** : Spider-Man??

**Man-Crush** Monday: ...

**weed** : i am groot?

**Trash-Panda** : yea if its with those assholes im out

**Theactualcaptain** : well im in

**Man-Crush** **Monday** : Wonderful!

  
  


**_im gonna die in ww3 and thats all right_ **

**Man-Crush Monday:** Wonderful news! I will be able to add them.

**itswendsdaymydudes** : great dude

**Man-Crush** **Monday** : Indeed it is Peter.

**itswendsdaymydudes** : so are u gonna add them??

**Noodle** **Man** : PETER THOR LITERALLY FOUND OUT UR IDENTITY

**itswendsdaymydudes** : oh.

**which** **lady** : lol peter doesn't even care anymore

**itswendsdaymydudes** : i though everyone knew

**itswendsdaymydudes** : i took my mask of plenty of times

**ah** **sataN** : Maybe it's because we were fighting peter

**jesus** : oh ur names Peter? Thats cool. It sounds better than calling u spiderman

**Captain** **Captain** : TONY HES 12

**itswendsdaymydudes** : im like 17

**Captain** **Captain** : This is when the adults talk.

**itswendsdaymydudes** : before yall start shouting i just want yall to understand that mr stark made me waaayy safer. When mr stark took my suit away i literally almost died so yeah

**Jesus** : steve dont make it a big deal. U literally joined the army in worse conditions. Plus hes stronger ( im guessing u ment 25 tons not pounds)

**itswendsdaymydudes:** yeah i did

**Captain** **Captain** : You're right. I wont get on Peter's back. And Tony?I'm glad you found this kid.

**Noodle** **Man** : wait thats it

**Captain** **Captain** : Yes.

**Noodle** **Man** : wow ok thought it would be more dramatic

**Man-Crush** **Monday** : I shall add the Guardians now.

**_Man-Crush Monday added Gamora, Theactualcaptain,Trash-Panda,weed, Praying Mantis, TheDestroyer;), Thereallifecyborg,Man-Crush Monday_ **

**Jesus** : o god is the racoon who wanted my arm here?

**Trash-Panda** : wait is the dude with the cool arm here?

**Trash-Panda** : yess

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure you leave a like, hit that little bell and subscribe
> 
> UwUQueen out

**Author's Note:**

> Sry this is short other chapters will ne longer
> 
> Make sure you leave a like, hit that little bell out and subscribe
> 
> UwUQueen out


End file.
